What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Why don't oysters share? Because they're shellfish.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

A snail gets mugged by two turtles. When the police ask him what happened, he says: "I don't know, officer. It all happened so fast."

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