Witty jokes

What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."

I asked my grandmother for the secret to a long marriage. She said, "Never go to bed angry." "Stay up and fight."

I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."