Jokes about Marriage

3 jokes · ten picks, reshuffled daily

Marriage jokes are the sitcom that never got cancelled: two people, one remote control, forty years of material. The ones here are affectionate; the spouse is the straight man, not the victim. Good for a speech, a card or a text to the person they are about.

Setup & punchline Clean

I asked my grandmother for the secret to a long marriage. She said, "Never go to bed angry." "Stay up and fight."

Setup & punchline Clean

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

One-liner Clean

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

Deal me one from this shelf

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