Jokes to open a presentation

The first ten seconds of a talk decide whether the audience is with you or checking their phones. A single good joke, told once and not explained, buys you the room. The ones here are built for that moment: they are short enough to deliver before the title slide, clean enough for any audience, and they do not depend on anyone knowing you.

Pick one that touches your subject if you can. A joke about meetings before a talk on process, a joke about numbers before the quarterly review. Tell it straight, wait for the laugh, and do not add a second one; the second one is where openers go wrong.