Literalism jokes
10 jokes · ten picks, reshuffled daily
Taking a figure of speech literally.
My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Dad, I'm hungry. Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Waiter, will my pizza be long? No, sir, it will be round.
Got a better one?
Send us your favourite joke. A real person reads every submission before it goes live, and the good ones get a page of their own.